Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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