I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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