I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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