I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
