mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
