Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize