when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
