My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
