Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I FOUND THE LEGS
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
