I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
