just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
