I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My pussy is not your playground.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
