I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
being pregnant is like rehab
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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