Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
