It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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