Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
