so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
