There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
