Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The air was thick with penises
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
