Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
