I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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