The brown eye won't let me do that either.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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