I heard we made out
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
