I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
