I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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