we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
