alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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