i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
