perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
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No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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