First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
