Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
