Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
