weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
