just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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