I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
