Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just want to make out with him forever
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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