toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
