I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
