Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
