if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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