all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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