I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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