Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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