The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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