fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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