I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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