insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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