watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize