i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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