then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
