hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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