My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
