I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize