Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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