I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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