reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
