i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
