420 ftw
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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