Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I could make wine with my vomit
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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