Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
