was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
