is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
