So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
nutella sex= disaster
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
