I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
