I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
