She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
