so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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