dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize